National Parks and Recreation

Long Trail miles: 1.8
10.9.20
30˚ and sunny
Lincoln Gap

Here it is: my last continuous miles on the Long Trail this time around.

I woke up to more freezing temps. I didn’t want to get to my pick-up location too early, but I knew I would at least be warm while I was moving. So I reluctantly got up and packed up my campsite as quickly as possible. My fingers were FROZEN! I definitely should’ve had gloves on me by this point. My shoes were also frozen solid. They were still a little wet from the day before and the freezing temps did the rest. Luckily, I had my dry sleeping socks that I could keep on and once I got the shoes on my feet, they defrosted and were fine.

I decided to just eat a Clif bar as I hiked since I’d be getting warm food soon and it definitely wasn’t worth sitting in the cold to eat something more substantial.

The hike down to Lincoln Gap was uneventful. It was mostly just shrouded in tree cover. I was in a lot of pain, which helped slow me down so I wouldn’t get there much earlier than Canada. I walked a fine line of going fast enough to stay warm, but slow enough to stretch out the time.

I arrived to Lincoln Gap about ten minutes before my scheduled pick-up time. It’s so funny. For the last 2 weeks, everybody has been saying to me “just make it to Lincoln Gap and then it will get SO much easier.” And now I’ve made it and I’m giving up. I’m still going through a lot of emotions about the whole thing, but I know it’s the right decision (especially everytime I get up and walk on my broken feet/legs). As long as I get back out here and finish it someday!

I ditched my pack by the side of the road and found a nice sunny spot to wait for my ride. It was less than ten minutes of waiting.

The rest of the day was pretty nice. The temperature ended up getting in the 60s by mid-day! We went to Trader Joe’s on the way back to Canada’s house and I got my favorite fall butternut squash mac n’ cheese which I then ate for “lunch” at 10am. I took a much-needed warm shower and got a ride to the laundromat where I could finally wash all my stuff. While waiting for my wash cycle, I decided to walk the half a mile to the nearest Walgreens to get some supplies (namely Epsom salts and a razor!). It was a flat half mile, entirely on sidewalks, and I was still hurting. “You’re making the right decision. You’re making the right decision.”

I had a nice foot/lower leg soak in some Epsom salts (which I plan to do frequently over the next few days). I don’t really know if it helps, but at least it makes me feel like I’m doing something. I got a giant salad for dinner and could NOT have been more excited. What even are fresh vegetables? (Don’t worry, it came with a giant side of garlic bread too!)

I call this my Vermont White Trash look. Wearing the only clean clothes I had, while stuffing my laundry into a trash bag to go hang out at the laundromat. If you look closely, my “purse” is also in my hand, which was a black liquor store grocery bag that held my money, water bottle, and charger. Living my best life.

I finally called my mom and told her the situation. I also caught up with some friends and made concrete plans with my roommates to come pick me up in Burlington in a week. (This all meant that they would have to drive 4 extra hours instead of just picking me up in Western Mass as planned. Sorry!)

I feel more sad now that I’m physically removed from the trail, especially since it ended up being such a warm, beautiful day. But then I stand up and my entire lower body reminds me I would’ve needed several rest days (at the very least!) anyway.

I think part of what led to my “demise” was the lack of sunlight (and my own stubbornness/stupid timeline.) If I’d had more time in the day, then I would’ve definitely taken more breaks and probably not killed my legs so quickly. I never really had the chance (read: allowed myself the luxury) to take naps in the sun midday or linger on top of a mountain. I also wish I would’ve seen more sunrises and sunsets or even just looked up at the stars more often. I was just always go go go. Which probably stemmed somewhat from the fact that I was alone and scared to hike in the dark for too long or nervous about finding a stealth site instead of stopping early at a guaranteed shelter. I’ve been thinking it was such a good thing that I never felt scared, but maybe it wasn’t. Maybe that means I didn’t push myself enough out of my comfort zone. I was also obsessed with sticking to this stupid schedule I had set for myself and felt like I needed to keep hiking more and more miles every day to finish “on time.”

I didn’t really think of these things in the moment, though, and it makes me mad that I regret it so much now. Why was I always in bed staring at pictures on my phone or reading or playing Spider Solitaire by 7pm every night when I could’ve been out exploring and seeing more? Why couldn’t I have been the person hanging out on top of Mansfield until sunset to see the Burlington city lights in the distance? While I never felt lonely, I definitely started wishing more and more every day that I had someone to do this with, even if it was just more fellow thru-hikers that I encountered out on the trail.

Alas, I’m ending this chapter of my thru-hiking experience at the exact middle point in my journal. And I find solace in the fact that I know I’ll be back someday soon to fill in the rest.

I’m excited to hang out and rest up over the next couple of days before Canada and I go hike Killington early next week. Hopefully my feet will be slightly more up to the task by then and it won’t be too freezing and miserable. I think it will be the perfect bookend to this 2020 Long Trail journey.